


The Fun in Funeral Homes

by Serenityreview



Series: The Flash Oneshots [9]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dialogue Heavy, Falling In Love, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Supernatural Elements, Vampires, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:29:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13932789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenityreview/pseuds/Serenityreview
Summary: In which Eobard gains a vampire boyfriend, somehow.





	The Fun in Funeral Homes

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I of all people had written a Vampire AU, expect it's more Urban Fantasy than anything else. Anyways enjoy.

Eobard grabbed his shotgun as he headed toward the morgue. Someone or something had tripped the silent alarm. He just hoped it wasn’t another zombie outbreak, they were still cleaning up from the last one.

The door to the morgue was slightly ajar. Eobard nearly sighed in relief. It probably wasn’t a zombie then. He’d rather not go through the disinfection process again. However he’s still left with plenty of other possibilities, maybe it was another rogue werewolf trying to get a quick meal, or maybe it was a ghoul or a goblin.

He entered the room with caution. The barrel of his gun was pointed toward the floor. In the dim light of the room he could barely make out the silhouette of a person trying to open one of the doors to the cold chamber. The fact that the person didn’t immediately whip around and growl at him meant that it wasn’t a rogue werewolf. The last rogue he had to deal with instantly noticed his presence in the room and growled. He barely made it out of that confrontation alive. He stabbed the rogue with his silver letter opener and ended up in the emergency room suffering from blood loss. He had somehow gotten the respect of the local pack after that and was now invited to their annual barbeques. He still had no idea on what to make of that. 

He was so absorbed in his memories that he accidentally scuffed his shoe against the concrete floor and caused the other person in the room to quickly whip around. He could see a flash of fangs and glowing eyes. A vampire then, he thought as he raised his gun, but the vampire doesn’t attack. Instead the intruder looked pretty embarrassed at being caught by Eobard. _Interesting._

“Oh! I didn’t! I-I mean you weren’t supposed to be here!” The vampire scrambled for an explanation.

Eobard blinked. The vampire wasn’t expecting him. They closed hours ago but he had to stay late to finish the preparations for Johnny DeMore’s funeral tomorrow. This could only mean that the vampire was staking the place out and figured out their schedules.

“Okay, sorry,” the vampire apologized. “I’ll just go.”

Eobard was at a loss for words, usually supernatural creatures were hard to get rid of, but this one was leaving out of embarrassment at getting caught by a human. What was a vampire doing in his morgue anyway? Then Eobard remembered that it was election season again and various campaigns had been stirring up anti-supernatural sentiments lately. There was a coordinated attack on a neighbouring county’s vampire nest and all the vampires in the surrounding counties had gone into hiding. Eobard sighed. This vampire was probably just looking for a place to lay low for a while. 

“Look,” Eobard called after the vampire, “you can stay here until election season ends, okay?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, just don’t get blood on anything,” Eobard hoped that he wouldn't regret this later.

“Thank you, Eobard!”

Eobard must of looked startled because the vampire said, “I scoped this place out before hand.”

“I figured as much,” Eobard said. “Alright goodnight.”

“My name is Barry.”

“Goodnight Barry.”

“Goodnight Eobard.”

-

Eobard’s alarm woke him the next morning. He groaned when he remembered that he had to deal with Mrs. DeMore today. Her son was an all around pain in the ass when he was alive and he was an even bigger pain in the ass in death. He turned into a zombie and infected other corpses in the morgue and they ruined half of the basement destroying them. He was supposed to have an open casket funeral but now all he can have is an urn; a really fancy urn at the insistence of his mother, still mourning her precious little boy. _Urgh._

Eobard dragged himself out of his bed and into the shower. He really didn’t want to go to work today but his parents were on vacation in Dubai, so he had to work. Then he remembered about the vampire in the basement and rushed to Thawne’s Mortuary ahead of everyone else.

When he finally made it to the basement he was greeted by the sight of Barry biting into a huge rat and sucking it dry. Barry stopped the instant he saw Eobard standing in the doorway and quickly put the rat away and apologized, “Sorry, I was hungry.”

Eobard didn’t understand why the vampire was apologizing until he saw the small pile of dried up rodents on the floor. He made a disgusted face, “I thought the exterminator had gotten rid of all of them.”

“Nope, rats and mice repopulate pretty quick,” Barry explained.

“Then what am I paying those guys for?” Eobard complained. “They said they rat proofed this place.”

“It didn’t work?” Barry offered.

“Obviously,” Eobard sighed. “I’ll go get a bag for those.”

As Eobard searched the supplies closet for a garbage bag, a thought occurred to him, he should just hire the vampire to be his rat exterminator. He didn’t even have to pay him! He can just live in the morgue and get rid of the rats. Eobard just had to make sure no one else knew about the vampire hiding here, at least until the end of the election and the anti-supernatural sentiments die down a bit. 

“I have proposition for you,” Eobard said as he returned to the basement with a garbage bag. “You get rid of my rats and I’ll let you stay here permanently. Granted you can’t let anyone know that you are staying here.”

“Really?”

“Yes, and let me know if the rat blood isn’t enough to sustain you. We’ve usually get blood from doing embalmings.”

“Okay, deal,” Barry replied happily.

“Deal.”

-

Eobard had a headache. It was probably because he skipped breakfast but he chose to believe it was because that he had to oversee Johnny DeMore’s funeral. He fought the urge to roll his eyes as he listened to Mrs. DeMore lament about how her son was cut down in his prime. He wanted to run up there and shout that the man was 33 and decided to going boating at 2 a.m. whilst drunk and crashed the family yacht into a rock and drowned, but that would be unprofessional and besides Gideon would stop him before he could even move from his spot. He tried his best to appear sympathetic and hoped to all the gods that it would be over soon. 

-

It occurred to Eobard after the funeral that he should probably let Barry know their schedule for the rest of the week, least someone accidentally stumbles upon the vampire eating dinner. He waited until everyone went home for the day and went down to the basement again but Barry was nowhere to be found.

Eobard frowned. _Did he leave?_ No, Eobard thought, there was no way he could have left during the daytime. It probably just meant that Barry was sleeping somewhere. Eobard stood there debating on whether to wake up vampire or not when the door on the bottom right corner opened by itself, startling him. 

Barry emerged from the cold chamber and stretched his arms, “Oh hey, Eobard. I was just taking a nap.”

“Right,” Eobard had forgotten that vampires can only sleep in cold places. “I was just going to give you a tour of this place and give you our schedule for the week so you know what’s going on.”

“A personal tour from the manager?” Barry teased. “I would be honoured.”

Eobard felt his face heat up and hoped that the vampire couldn’t see it in the dim lights of basement, “This is the morgue. This is the place where we keep the bodies until the day of the funeral or the day of the cremation. We embalm the bodies for open casket funerals in the other room. You can find blood in the fridge there, although I can’t promise it would taste any good.”

Then Eobard led Barry upstairs and showed him the chapel, “The chapel was built in 1963 and can seat 200 people comfortably. This is where most wakes take place. We do have an additional area for smaller funerals. Only staff can go into the basement and the crematorium out back.”

Eobard looked at Barry as he gave his usual spiel. It struck him just how green the vampire’s eyes were. This is the first time the human has gotten a good look at the vampire. Barry had beautiful eyes, high cheekbones, brown hair, he was pale like most vampires and he had a thin face. _He’s beautiful._ Barry noticed Eobard’s stare and cocked his head to the side in question. Eobard’s face flushed as he pulled his eyes away. What was he thinking? Staring at Barry like that? Just because he was unexpectedly handsome? He mentally berated himself. 

“Any questions?” Eobard asked.

“No, I think you were pretty thorough.”

“Good,” Eobard said, feeling a bit awkward. “I think I should go home now.”

“Yes,” Barry agreed. “It’s way past closing time isn’t it?”

“Yes. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye and thank you, Eobard. You didn’t have to do that for me.”

Eobard blinked in realization. The vampire was right. He didn’t have to do any of that for Barry. _But I wanted to._ Eobard has never felt more like a coward than when he left without saying another word.

-

The rest of the week passed without incident, expect that Eobard found himself staying late everyday to spend more time with Barry. The vampire was over a hundred years old and apparently grew up in the area.

“So you are a local?”

“Yes, I guess you could say that,” chuckled Barry.

“What was it like back then?” Eobard was curious.

“There were a lot more farms and a lot more stakings,” Barry reminisced. “There was a pack here though. I think it’s still the same family.”

“Why did you come back here? There still isn’t much here,” Eobard asked.

The vampire shrugged, “I missed home. I haven’t been back here since I was turned.”

Eobard felt like he was omitting something, “And?”

Barry looked at the floor and whispered, “I just didn’t know where else to go after my Sire died.” 

“Oh,” Eobard felt bad for bring up such a sensitive topic. 

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Barry said. “My family farm had been turned into a strip mall and I came here during election season, which is always a bad time for the supernatural.”

“Is that why you broke in here?”

“Yes, I just needed a place to sleep. I didn’t expect to get caught or for you to offer me a job,” Barry smiled. “Thank you again for that.”

Eobard felt himself blush and ducked his head. “You’re welcome,” he murmured. He hoped the vampire wouldn’t notice. 

-

“You seem to be happier lately,” Gideon said after their Friday morning staff meeting. “Have you finally found someone?”

Eobard tried to not show his reaction, “No. I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Okay,” Gideon sounded skeptical but she let the subject drop.

Eobard debated internally on whether or not to tell Gideon about Barry. It’s not like he doubted her loyalty or her ability to keep a secret. The woman was not a gossip and liked to keep things as professional as possible. Eobard would not be able to run this whole operation without her but he didn’t want to share Barry’s existence with her. He wanted to keep the vampire all to himself; a thought that both surprised and scared him. 

“Are you going to vote next Tuesday?” Gideon asked. “I’ve already mailed in my ballot.”

“The election is next Tuesday!?” Eobard hadn’t realized it was so close. It meant Barry wouldn’t be around for much longer. _I don’t want him to leave._

“I guess you are still undecided then,” Gideon replied with a hint of amusement in her voice.

“Go back to work,” he told her in annoyance.

“Right away, boss.”

Eobard threw himself into work after that, determined not to deal with the strange feeling he had towards the thought of Barry leaving. 

-

Tuesday came and went. Eobard didn’t care about the election results. He just didn’t want Barry to leave. He felt rather pathetic longing after a guy that he only knew for two weeks. Vampire and human relationships never worked out; no matter what the movie wanted people to believe. _Dear gods, Eobard. Don’t be so pathetic, just go in there and tell him election season’s over and he can leave now. You can do this._

“What’s wrong Eobard?” Barry asked as the human walked into the morgue.

“Election season is over now,” Eobard was proud at the way he kept his voice even. “You can leave.”

“Do you want me to go?”

_No. I don’t want you to go. I want you to stay._

“It’s not up to me,” Eobard said. _I hope you will stay._

“Eobard,” Barry took a deep breath. “I don’t want to leave and I don’t think you want me to leave, either.”

“No,” Eobard confessed. “I don’t want you to go.”

_I’m just afraid this won’t work out._

“Then I’ll stay.”

“Just like that?”

Barry smiled, “Just like that.”

-

Barry’s lips were lukewarm when they kissed. They were sitting on Eobard’s bed now. The human still had no ideas on how that happened. He was just so happy when Barry said he’ll stay, the rest were a blur.

“Hey, are you okay?” Barry asked when he noticed Eobard spacing out.

“I’m okay,” Eobard shivered.

“I’m too cold, aren’t I?”

“No, it’s not…” It was exactly that and Barry began to pull away but Eobard stopped him. “Don’t go, we can just cuddle.”

“I’ll go get you another blanket.”

“It’s in the linen closet down the hall,” Eobard called after the vampire.

“Uh-huh.”

It took Barry a while to get the blankets. Eobard was starting to get a little antsy. Then the door creaked open and Barry was holding a pile of blankets.

“Where did you find all those blankets?” Eobard wasn’t even sure he had that many in the house.

“I knew your great grandmother.”

“Huh?”

“I saw her picture in the living room.”

“Oh, great grandmother Agnes. She died when I was four,” Eobard can barely recall her face now. 

“She wanted to be a nurse,” Barry said.

“I don’t know if she was one.”

“The last time I saw her, she told me she wanted to become a nurse but her mother wouldn’t let her.”

“The last time you saw her?”

“1917, I was supposed to be fighting the war in Europe but I never made it there,” Barry said.

“Fighting the war in Europe?” Eobard repeated in confusion. “You mean you were a soldier during World War One?”

“Yes, I was a soldier in the U.S. Army,” Barry said. “Until I was turned into a vampire. My Sire said I was too beautiful to be sent off to war and turned me.”

“Did you want to be a vampire?”

“No,” Barry answered. “I wasn’t asked. He turned me because he could. He did a lot of things because he could and it came back to bite him in the ass.”

“He got killed?”

“Yes. He made a lot of enemies,” Barry said. “But he was my Sire and I miss him.”

Eobard couldn’t pretend to understand what the vampire felt towards his Sire but he pulled Barry onto his nest of blankets and held him close. It was all the comfort he could give. 

“Go to sleep,” Barry said. “I’ll stay with you.”

“Don’t you need sleep too?”

“I already slept today.”

“Okay,” Eobard murmured as he snuggled closer to Barry. “Don’t worry, I have blackout curtains.”

“Goodnight, Eobard.”

“Goodnight, Barry.”

-

Eobard awoke the next morning to find Barry at his bedside playing cat’s cradle by himself.

“Good morning, Eobard. I do believe you have work today.”

Eobard groaned and looked at his phone. He had about an hour to get ready for work but all he wanted to do was spend more time with Barry. 

“I’m taking the day off,” Eobard declared. “They can survive one day without me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Eobard said. “Afterall I got new vampire boyfriend to spend time with.”

Barry giggled and slipped onto the bed, “Let’s have fun today.”

“Yes, let’s have fun today.”

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and talk Eobarry with me on [my tumblr.](randomsakura.tumblr.com)


End file.
